Why so afraid?

Why are we so afraid of doing things we love doing? Specially those which make you feel happy.

Be it work, personal life, friends, or just anything.

3 years ago when I was at the brink of taking an important decision (personal and professional) – I read this article by Paul Grahams who went at great length to explain about two categories of people – One – those who make a living by doing things they love to do – and Two – those who make time and money for things they love by doing things they don’t love so much.

Quoting yet again from Paul Grahams article – How to do what you love.

Finding work you love is very difficult. Most people fail. Even if you succeed, it’s rare to be free to work on what you want till your thirties or forties. But if you have the destination in sight you’ll be more likely to arrive at it. If you know you can love work, you’re in the home stretch, and if you know what work you love, you’re practically there.

Leaving HCL Tech and joining Red Hat in Pune was almost a direct consequence of reading that article. For the year that I worked with Red Hat, I had joined the elite group who actually liked what they did, to make a living. Whatever I did during the day, used to give me an immense sense of belonging and contribution.

Today, almost 3 years hence, I’m now part of the second category which Paul Grahams described in his article – desperately trying to be back in first category. Things are complicated now – even though I want to get back to the first category (and I can) – I still NEED to be part of the second category. I need this “piggybacking” right now.

With Fireflies from Owl City playing in the background and Planet Ubuntu open in front of me, I’m simply missing my days at Red Hat – the time when I was actually happy.

Missing the feeling of doing things I love doing.

“I like to make myself believe, that planet earth turns slowwwly… Its hard to say that I rather stay awake when I’m asleep…”
“Leave my door open just a crack… Cause I feel like such an insomniac…”
(lyrics)

This day shall pass too. Brighter days await
Hope shall never die.

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